Walk about Zion, go around her, number her towers, consider well her ramparts, go through her citadels, that you may tell the next generation that this is God, our God forever and ever. He will guide us forever. Psalm 48:12-14
Eighteen years ago God put a simple little seed in my heart that would one day grow into a mammoth desire. In my Senior year of high school my plan was to go away to the University of Florida pursue my MD with a specialty in Neurosurgery. However, along with my plan was this faint thought that one day God would somehow help others with their life through the struggles of my life that He had brought me through.
That little seed continued to grow over the years into a deeper calling, and my plan continued to be redirected by God’s merciful and gracious handiwork.
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
MD changed to Accounting changed to a new school, USF, changed to Education changed to Politcal Science changed to Mass Communications and ended with a Degree in Communications and a Masters in MRS.
At the same time as the school change the seed began to grow into a sapling, needing as much water and protection as it could get. From Tampa to Plant City and eventually being Transplanted in Lakeland, my walk was growing deeper and deeper with the roots. I was grounded, yet pruned of much of my old life. God has brought me to a point where all I wanted was revival.
He led me out of my comfort zone to a ministry I was unfamiliar with, but was a huge part of the journey ahead. Every place He took me taught me another lesson in life, hard lessons to learn but God for the Kingdom of Heaven and the journey of others. He used each trial to bring His Words through me in writing or speaking or just living life. I continued to pray for Revival, for every knee to bow and worship Him, but still had no idea how He would bring this about.
Every once and a while along the journey Satan would try to distract me. Words like, How was I good enough, what made me a viable solution to fight against the evil in this world and fight for the Kingdom of Heaven? I’m not even smart enough or strong enough to make it through the medical program at UF, I was supposed to be a Neurosurgeon and look how I turned out. But God would prepare me for these fights, He would place His armor upon me, and I would fight Satan off in Prayer and Wisdom from others. The Lord would speak to my heart and use His Words to write Truth on my heart into the hearts of others. He would use my weakest link to Glorify Himself.
In these moments of weakness my heart would deepen its desire for the generations around me and behind me to know Him deeper because in Him I knew I was safe. Then it happened, all of a sudden in the Fall of 2014 God began to prepare my heart in a new way that I hadn’t experienced before.
Up to this point my growth with God had been in intimacy with Him, in compassion for what I could see with my eyes, in knowledge of His Words, in uncomfortable places in my own life, in making my own roots grow deeper and deeper in His fertile soil. For what He was preparing me for I had no idea, yet I knew it was Big. I began weeping and praying for people I didn’t even know. Things I normally said a “YES” to I began to say “No”. God was wanting me to stop traveling to stop schooling so I could be near my family. On blended knee I would pray day and night for my oldest son’s best friend’s mom who was battling brain cancer and in preparation for a literal marathon I would run for hours praying for my high school best friend whose husband had just been diagnosed with the same brain cancer that her father died from in middle school and stripped her from the community of the church family. I would ask God, “Are you wanting me to go back to school to be a Neurologist? What’s all this with the brain? Do I have brain cancer, are you preparing me to come to you? God, what is it? What do you want of me?” Then I would finish the prayer off with, “Use me Lord. Let them see you in me.”
That year my family and I celebrated the best Christmas Ever! My brother got engaged to an amazing young lady on Christmas Eve and on Christmas morning my children were so grateful for each gift under the tree. They actually sat and watched as their siblings would open their gifts. Who would be thought that some of these gifts would never get used?
The new year began in a flash! The tree in me that started as a seed and got moved as a sapling and was transplanted in Plant City and Lakeland continued to grow. But the pace had somehow gotten slower and much more comfortable. But God never calls us to be comfortable or He would have given His Son a nice padded cradle in a warm house to be born into. The first Sunday of the New Year would bring about the greatest growth that Tree in Me had ever seen, and God would eventually answer my greatest desire that I never did know.
It’s amazing how God prepares us for situations that we don’t see coming. On that very Sunday morning, my husband and I would go to church as normal and in Sunday school start studying a new book that would ask us the question, if you knew you were on a trip and never to return what would you pack in your coffin? As we drove away from church, I turned to my husband and told him that I think God has been trying to tell me that something bad is about to happen with me and I needed to tell the kids that if I were to die that I was going to Heaven.
But on that very day a brain trauma would rock my world and cause that small seed from high school to start a revival. The brain trauma would take the life of my youngest son, but I didnt lose him because I know where he is. And the revival would start from prayers sent for my family, leading others to know Christ in a new, deeper way. God has put so many things together for others to grow closer to Him, some to see Him for the first time, either by praying for us or by following our journey from mourning to Joy. Some have watched from a distance as God speaks through the words He gives me. I have yet to see all the fruit from this part of the trees growth and probably won’t see it all until Heaven, but God gives me little glimpses into Eternity daily through the life change of this generation and the generation and the generation that is following.
He shows me through the testimonies of women, men, and children, and how they have been affected by Hayden going to Heaven. Also, by how the testimony God has given me has changed their life and allowed them to see God through me.
If this has spoken to you in any way, if it has stirred your heart but you don’t know why, please pray with me that the seed God is planting in your Heart will grow, and that He will put a fire down in your soul that you can’t contain and you can’t control. That it grows and grows and affects the generation around you and behind you so that Revival will continue and that through it God is known.
And by being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,to the glory of God the Father. Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:8-13
God has an amazing purpose for each of us, but part of that purpose is to take the Gospel to all the world including the little children. Their lives matter on earth and in Heaven. They are our next generation and they too must carry on the Word of the Lord.
But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14
Thank you God for planting a seed and growing a tree!